Alas, I return to the computer screen where I can, once again, spin tales of peril and torment of my journeys across the seven seas to thwart evil and strike fear into the hearts of every bad guy what calls himself a pirate, or terrorist. 

I am nearly done with my adventures.  The food is lousy and the sleeping arrangements stink……..and quite literally too.  I have, however, done very well for myself, and will, at the very least, be returning with some certifications, rank advancements and other qualifications under my belt.

 I have so many plans for when I get home that there may be a bit of a system overload, which, in turn, may actually overwhelm me and diminish my resolve for accomplishing said plans.  I want to read with the Mrs. every day, and go for walks on along the beach, and play games, and cook in the kitchen more, and do some DIY wood working projects…..…. fix my piano, fix my computer, do some magic shows……………record and sell several music albums, and get a part-time-job to help save up for a new car………….and I think I got tired just typing all of that.  It sounds like a lot to do, right?  I suppose, if I do get another job, I would have to sacrifice some of those other items in the list, like the walks on the beach or reading.  I forgot to mention that I am going to run for at least 30 minutes a day, in the morning, when it is nice and freezing outside.  Anyway, I will have to assign some level of priority to these items and keep everything in perspective and focus on what is truly important………………..like smothering my wife with affection………….and eating good food cooked at the proper temperature.

 It has been a good long run out here, but every one is ready to go home.  We are all a little older, and some of us are a little bit wiser, but enough is enough already.  I can’t wait until my cell phone finally gets a signal again and I can call every one and tell them the fantastic news.  

I checked my WordPress blog today for the first time in a long, long while.  I don’t think I have checked it since the end of my last cruise, so it has been nearly a year, and I find that people have been visiting my page regularly.  I mean, on the 28th there were 30 visitors to my page, and there is nothing new or exciting to read at all.  The only thing interesting on my page are several Chuck Norris jokes that I found a while back and some cleverly phrased and curiously twisted stories and tales of my wildly mundane life.

 Actually, my life is anything but mundane, and yet it is boring at the same time, if that makes any sense at all.  I mean, I get to go to Italy and Turkey and Dubai and Bahrain, and I get to have all of these wonderful experiences, and yet, at the end of the day, I am not really doing much with my life other than wasting it away in front of a computer screen for 90% of my existence on this floating prison.  And even when I am in front of the computer, the only thing I seem to be accomplishing is the losing of more and more brain cells.  I don’t even accomplish anything because it takes 5 minutes for a page on the web to try and load before I receive a message telling me that the page cannot be displayed anyway.  What crap is that?  So, I sit there and hit F5 about a thousand times until something pops up and keeps me occupied for the next half an hour.

 Incidentally, I find that the slowness of the internet out here has contributed to many confused and misleading conversations with friends and family, and Facebook posts and comments that, by the time the comment posts, make zero sense any more.  That’s always fun.  I mean, if Jack Henry posts that he is having car problems and can’t seem to figure out how to fix it on his own, and I go and say something like, “Yeah, I am the same way.  It happens all the time.”  It would make sense………..except that by the time the comment makes it’s way through the slow internet connection and to the land of Facebook, some one else has now chimed in with, “Dude, you are soooooo gay.”  And now it reads, “Dude, you are so gay.” and I am responding with, “Yeah, I am the same way.  It happens all the time.”  Fantastic, huh?

Well, life sure has a twisted sense of humor, but I do tend to enjoy myself and make the most out of what I have at my disposal.  And now it is time for me to hit the submit button and wait for 10 minutes for the page to display a dastardly error message and delete all of these cleverly formulated words I have been typing up for the past 15 minutes.  Until next time.

-Brian

Winding Down

I am kind of shocked that there are still people who actually check my blog. I had 30 people on here the other day. I suppose I should update it more regularly, but, in my defense, this site was off limits at the beginning of my deployment, and so I couldn’t have posted a message even if I wanted to.

 So, what’s new in life, you might ask?  Actually, this past 6 or 7 months have been very busy and successful.  I qualified for my Aviation Warfare, or Wings, as most would call them.  I advanced in rank once again to Petty officer Second Class, I did a magic show for a couple hundred sailors and became certified in CompTIA Security +.  I really can’t complain.  I have been given a lot of blessings in life.  The only thing I want now is to return home to my wonderful wife and take a well deserved and much needed vacation.

I have some big plans for my return home, which is very near at hand.  I mainly want to spend time with my wife.  It might seem like a small thing, but I miss the time we spend sitting at the table playing Monopoly and Clue, Bones and Yahtzee.  I miss having her cuddle up with me on the couch as we watch CSI and Ghost Whisperer.  I want to add some new activities when I get back, such as a 30 minute walk along the beach every day, and sitting together reading a book every day………which we have tried in the past, and the end result was me passing out after 10 minutes.  I tend to get awfully sleepy when I am reading a book late a night.

I also have big plans for my music.  I think, out of everything I have planned, this is what excites me the most.  I am going to record some of my original compositions and sell them on iTunes and I am going to be sending all of my dear friends and family a Christmas CD of mine, as well as some other fun items.  I have also looked into getting certified as a piano tuner, which, it turns out, can be quite pricey at several thousand dollars for a correspondence course.  I want to make sure my piano is always up to par, and it wouldn’t hurt to have that particular skill under my belt.

I also want to find some way to perform magic in public and in front of larger audiences.  I can always perform on the boardwalk down by where Tiff and I live, but it seems I am never satisfied and am always looking to expand and do more with the talents and skills I have been blessed with.  I’ll keep every one updated on my progress.

I have a fantastic life, and it is sure to get even more fantastic once I am no longer a prisoner on this floating metallic island.  I miss all of you fantastic people in the real world, and I can’t wait to return to sanity, a comfy bed, and some real food.

Take care, every one.  ‘Till next time.

Pic of the Day

I thought this was too cute not to put up.

Status Update

Wow! It feels like forever since I have updated my blog. I have put up pictures and jokes and things like that, but no updates or exciting adventures. Why? Well, life is pretty boring right now. I am busy, yet have lots of time on my hands. I am stressed, yet excited for my return home. I have a clear mind, yet I have bouts of insanity. There hasn’t been anything of note to blog about. No one wants to hear complaints day after day, and lately I feel that my soul is in need of some rejuvenation, rest and relaxation.

I have lost the ability to care and have become numb with repetition and monotony. I really miss my wife. Loving her keeps me going, but it is also the hardest thing about being away. I got used to having her around me day after day, comforting me, laughing, making me smile. I don’t have anything to care for out here, really, other than my job, and I have given 110% at work for so long that my gas tank is nearly on empty.

I feel like I am in an old black and white movie, as if life has lost it’s color and it’s beauty for the present time. I used to know what joys and beauty there were in life, but the longer I go without them, the more dead I feel inside. I am reminded of a Kenneth Cope song, one that has much greater meaning to me today than it did when I first heard it. It speaks of a jaded heart and a cold life; longing, praying, hoping for new life to be given, for the spirit within to re-awaken. I am encompassed my the hum-drum boringness of uneventful life and long to get back to life at home; home with all of it’s beauty, joy and happiness and the woman I adore. I need some color in my life, people!

I am NOT about to go jump into the ocean or find myself swinging from the nearest ceiling fan (not that we have those, mind you). I believe that these feelings are similar to a deadly poison, one that needs to be purged from the body. This is the best way I know of to do that, at least while I am out here away from home. Let the poison seep out. Man, I need a vacation.

Enough insanity for one day. I am working on a poem which I will post up once it is completed. Right now I have a meeting to get to……don’t I feel special…………….not!

Chuck Norris Jokes

Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more “humane.”

Aliens do exist. They’re just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT’s, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Chuck Norris’ iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

 

Pic of the Day

Joke of the Day

I laughed so hard over this one.

Quotes of the Day

Heck, why not share these with every one.  These quotes seem to be right on the money.

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.                                                                                                            -Aldous Huxley (1894 – 1963), “Music at Night”, 1931

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.                                                                                                                                                                                               -Euripides (484 BC – 406 BC)

You can call it the ‘Perfect Moment’ when the universe aligns and the music in your head actually matches the music outside and all is well.                                                                                                                                                                                                       -Hugh Elliott, “Standing Room Only”, 2006

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny.
-Garrison Keillor

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.
-Alice Roosevelt Longworth

If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music.
-Gustav Mahler

We can’t plan life. All we can do is be available for it.
-Lauryn Hill

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me”.
-Erma Bombeck

Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.
-Eric Fromm

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            -Albert Camus

Your life is what your thoughts make it.
-Marcus Aurelius

Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            -Edward Chapin

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       -Helen Keller

May your walls know joy; may every room hold laughter and every window open to great possibility.                                                                                                                                                                                                                              -Maryanne Radmacher-Hershey

Happy 4th of July!

Freedom is a wonderful thing.  I spent my morning sleeping in, which I almost never do.  I then prepared my uniform for the day, took a very long, warm shower, and walked down to my shop to drop of my things before heading up to the flight deck.  I spent my afternoon with my feet dangling near the edge of the stern of the ship, eating ribs and a hot dog.  just to my left there were a handful of people using the deep blue ocean as a make-shift driving range for their wayward golf balls.  One nearly took my head off (only joking, Mom).

As I was staring out at the blue water I felt a sense of peace and comfort that I wish I could carry with me at all times.  Here we are, a bunch of miscreant freedom fighters, exhausted from days on end of bond-grinding work, longing for home, and we sit with smiles on our faces as we enjoy a time of reflection.  We got to see first hand the feeling of peace, the result of our efforts to ensure our freedoms and the freedom of our fellow Americans.

Not too far away from my leisurely picnic there were screams and shouts of delight at the blow-up boxing ring, a large, cushioned ring complete with ever-sized, jumbo boxing gloves.  A tricycle race was being held in front of the island and right behind that was a 100 yard dash race.  I had to admit that the fun exceeded my expectations.  I was half…no, make that fully expecting to walk up to the flight deck to find a few tables with hot dogs and some bad karaoke.  I took my much needed break from monotony and laid there in the tranquility of the ever shifting seas.

This 4th of July is one I am going to remember.  I never really appreciated the feeling of freedom on the 4th of July much like I had today.  It has been, all things considered, a fairly perfect day, with one minor exception.  Yup, there is only one thing that today was lacking that would have pushed it over the edge, and that is clam dip!  I really miss the clam dip.

Talent Show

I found out yesterday that I was volunteered for the upcoming talent show on board the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower. I have no clue what date or what time, I have no clue who the person responsible for the show is and I have only a vague idea of what to perform. Lucky for me my Uncle Kerry came to the rescue and sent me a wealth of great stage and close-up magic illusions. I am sure I will do just fine…but a tad bit more information would be lovely.